If you hadn’t guessed, food blogging is not my main source of income…or any income to be honest.
Waiting on you Foodnetwork and/or Travel Channel!
In my spare time when I’m not cooking and writing about cooking, I work at an eCommerce firm…digital commerce firm as a Senior Account Executive. High-level (business type phrase) I work to help people sell their goodies online using our goodies and everyone feels good…ie.
One of the coolest perks of my job is travel, I get to travel a lot. I used to hate flying, terrified of it. But once I realized that on the other side of the flight there was a new city with new food and cultures to experience, I got over it…also I have to fly a lot.
This week’s trip brought me to Baltimore and more importantly…to the wonder that is Blue Crab.
My colleague and I, we’ll call him Chuckles, landed in DC on Monday evening. The sun was setting and we had just enough time to feel a bit of the greatness radiating from the town.
We had the chance to stop by the White House just as like 3,000 kids were leaving after getting their chocolate…all left with candy, but only one left with a new red hat.
Do you think he can sense a disturbance in the force?
We left DC in search of a bed at a Hamilton Inn about 30 odd miles away. Needless to say, we found it and sleep, right after a quick and dirty dinner near by. (nearly an Outback Steakhouse #livingthedream)
The next day was business and as a certified businessmin I could go into great detail and list an enormous amount of buzz words that would astound you…but I won’t.
Just know it was really business-y.
After all the business was done for the day we agreed to meet at Captain James Crabhouse. You’ll notice the lack of an apostrophe. Apparently, Captain James doesn’t own this place, he just did something super cool to get a crab house named after him, which is my new life goal.
Always eat outside and near water when possible.
I should start this next part by saying that crab in Baltimore is an institution. Everyone does it and if you don’t do it, you’re likely not from there. On top of this, everyone has their own way of picking crab (maybe each household) and everyone’s way is the right way.
Regardless, here’s how it works.
First, a handsome Spanish Italian man comes to your table with a plate of crabs to let you choose your size.
After you’ve selected your size you wait patiently, sometimes eating other foods such as oysters or mussels but always drinking beer. No white wine spritzers here…just beer.
When the crabs come, you’ll see the eyes of each Baltimorian at your table light up with joy. Maybe it triggers memories of their childhood growing up on the water, maybe it reminds them of “the good old days” with friends around a table, or maybe they just really love crab…I’m not a doctor. All I know is that the pile began to disappear as quickly as it appeared.
Now the magic begins. A crab mysteriously finds itself in front of you. It’s little black eyes stare directly into yours, full of understanding and flavor. The caked Old Bay covers every inch oits’s shell and is about to cover pretty much your entire front shortly.
If you’re finding yourself a little sad for the crab, don’t be. He or she gave his or her life for the joy of others, and that’s puhritty noble. Plus it’s really freaking good so you gotta eat it…or others at your table will.
At this point you engage in whatever the tactics are of the person closest to you. They may say it’s the best way, but as a foreigner in these lands, you don’t know any better. All you know is that you must. eat. crab. So you begin, and eventually, you’re left with a shell of your former self…I mean, the crab shell.
Repeat these steps as many times as you want, until you’re full of meat or until you decide that you can’t take the smell of Old Bay on your hands any longer. Not that it’ll matter as the stuff stays with you until you shower the next day…don’t ask me why.
Once you’re done, you sit back and bask in the glory of what you and your compatriots have accomplished. For me, this is one meal I will not soon forget. It had all the parts I love in a meal, great food, great company, and mallets.
I highly recommend you check this out when you’re in Baltimore next.