As the name suggests, the wife and I took a trip to Costco…on a Sunday afternoon.
It was…an experience.
We woke up in the morning and were sitting around the apartment, it was a PJ and cats in laps kinda morning. Or so I thought.
“We should get a membership to Costco” she said.
“Sure we can get one” I said
“Great, we’ll go this afternoon” she smiled.
Apparently agreeing to a Costco membership also meant agreeing to taking a shower and putting on pants that day…
After the above took place (Sans shower because it’s Sunday and some things are sacred) we left for the Co of Cost.
The parking lot look crowded as we got in and I immediately began to panic. It’s not that I don’t like busy places, I just don’t like busy places. Or more specifically, people in busy places where I need to get stuff done. So as you would expect, Costco on a Sunday was probably the best place for me to be.
We found a spot in record time which was good apparently because it meant things “weren’t that bad inside”. I did not share the same optimism.
We were stopped at the door by a little old lady who let us know that we couldn’t enter without a membership. So…we got our membership. Honestly, that agreement might go down as my most stressful since getting married to Stax. It’s a lot of pressure having a joint membership to a store that boasts 1 gallon tubs of hummus and and 1.5 pound tube of dry salami (both of which were bought because YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE).
Membership in hand we walked into the store and begin to shop. Costco is a warehouse full of boxes of things that I probably don’t need but suddenly and inexplicably wanted. I mean who needs a 30 pack of granola bars or a 2 pack of extra large peanut butter or 18 pounds of pork tenderloin. *Raises Hand* I DO! ME! It’s me!
Shopping is overwhelming in it’s own right but if you add in the siren song of free samples it becomes nearly impossible to “get through” Costco easily. I can proudly say that I only tasted one thing, but was otherwise undeterred in my quest for purchasing more peanutbutter than is healthy for one person to eat.
In the end, our time ran out before our resolve did and we had to leave. Our haul was mighty and came in the form of a giant 2 pound container of cashews, a 30 back of granola bars (told you) a 30 pack of new tupperware, and the aforementioned sausage and hummus.
The spoils of war in hand we returned home victors from an endeavor that could have easily ended or lives…or at the very least gave me major anxiety.
I'm an acting/improvising optimizing son of a gun.
I've been living and working and performing in Chicago since 2005. I love to eat, travel, talk and make people laugh. So for me this blog stuff is pretty neat.
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